Why I Now Believe Everyone Is Doing the Best They Can

“You simply never ever understand what someone is dealing with behind closed doors. No matter how delighted someone looks, how loud their laugh is, how huge their smile is, there can still be a level of hurt that is indescribable.
Everyone is doing the very best they can. When they can do much better, they will.
” I disagree,” you say. “I see individuals who are not doing their best all the time!”.
Prior to the year 2006, I had a load of grievances about the world and the individuals around me, including my friends, coworkers, and moms and dads. Or at least didnt care enough to try to do better. People appeared to do the bare minimum to get by or just what benefitted them directly.
I had issues with my family I could not make sense of, such as how my moms and dads treated me, the way they interacted or lack thereof, and how they were never there for me. Everything I experienced in my household looked like the direct reverse of how parents like their kids was advertised.
Outside of my own family dynamics, I saw others with a variety of their own household concerns. From financial battles, home responsibilities, to resentment and overlook, even abuse.
My view of humanity and my intend to find happiness were dark and pessimistic.
I went to therapy, participated in workshops, attempted support system, however absolutely nothing actually responded to the burning question I had in my mind: “Why do people continue to behave the method they do when they can alter? WHY?”.
Then in 2006, I attended a three-day workshop hosted by the late Dr. Lee Gibson. It changed my perspective forever.
Lee, as we all lovingly called him, was a dazzling behavioral psychologist who taught from an energetic and spiritual foundation. It was my very first experience seeing everything from a holistic viewpoint, and I was hungry for more. I still practice all of his mentors today.
Among all the Leeisms he shared, it was the insight, “Everyone is doing the very best they can. When they can do better, they will” that triggered a lightbulb in my head. It would release me from a psychological trap I had actually developed for myself.
I will admit, it took me some time to totally comprehend and accept that perspective. I was not going to let everybody off the hook that easily.
Not due to the fact that I wasnt trying, or didnt desire to be much better, but since I didnt always understand the precise right things to state or do every action of the way. And as far as I knew, I had never chosen a lesser choice if I understood there was a much better method.
If others are going through similar struggles, bound by egotistical voices and psychological discomforts, then I can undoubtedly believe they are as defenseless as I remained in breaking free of those patterns till they understand and have the right tools to do so.
Life events are approximate, and most of us dont get to practice each scenario over and over once again until we get it right (like in the motion picture Groundhog Day). Even if we suspect they were not the best ways, we are still unsure what the best ways are.
It was as if a weight was lifted off my body. My mind felt more open, and I started a sort of social experiment by decreasing, observing the way people respond in different scenarios from an outsiders viewpoint, and releasing myself from taking anything personally.
What I discovered was when I placed myself at a place of compassion and objectivity, I became less reactive to others reactions. The understanding of everybody is doing the very best they can but cant help themselves provided me a sense of power– a power to disengage from their personal struggles and maintain concentrate on my own powers.
The individuals around me slowly put down their weapons and started to unwind and open up about their internal battles. They even began to take an interest in how I expressed and felt remorse in how they acted in circumstances.
I will not lie in stating all my relationships have actually grown. A few of them stayed the same or disappeared, while others were brought more detailed than ever because of my newfound perspective.
For me, the greatest outcome was understanding that the couple of relationships that could not progress was not due to the fact that of my stiff condemning stance of “Why wouldnt you attempt to be much better?” And that was a new level of psychological freedom.

About Liv W.Liv W. is a Creative Director turned blog writer, with a desire to bring more joy and generosity to the world by offering tools and insights for personal wellness. She is a long-lasting learner of individual and spiritual growth. Her blog site Soulove.us is committed toward constructing a heart-based society.

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“You simply never know what someone is dealing with behind closed doors. No matter how delighted somebody looks, how loud their laugh is, how big their smile is, there can still be a level of hurt that is indescribable. Not because I wasnt trying, or didnt want to be much better, however due to the fact that I didnt constantly understand the precise right things to state or do every action of the way. And as far as I understood, I had actually never ever chosen a lesser choice if I understood there was a better method. Even if we think they were not the best ways, we are still not sure what the best ways are.

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