The Joy and Power of Realizing I Am More Than My Job

“Authenticity is a collection of options that we need to make every day. Its about the choice to reveal up and be genuine. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.” ~ Brene Brown
” What do you wish to be when you grow up?”
” Its so good to fulfill you. What do you do?”
These are the questions we are asked our entire life. Everyone always asks about the future when were kids. They excitedly ask, “What will you do?” The subtext of this questions is:
” How will you be efficient in society? How will you contribute?”
Being asked those questions all the time as kids turned us into the adults that ask them. We remain in the same cycle and do not seem to understand to ask instead, “Who are you?”
For a long period of time, my focus and self-identity was tied up in what I did. I would tell individuals, “I am a filmmaker.” I knew I desired to make films when I was young. I enjoyed to tell stories. “I wish to be a movie director!”
When I matured and in fact got tasks in Hollywood, I realized that the majority of people are not motion picture directors. The majority of people are not even filmmakers. They work in movie. It takes many people to make one, but only a handful of people get any recognition or able to consider themselves filmmakers.
” What do you do?” people would ask. I would have a hard time to find out how to describe that I was a production assistant who dealt with films. I was basically a glorified secretary, a personal assistant. However I was not a filmmaker.
I worked on other filmmakers films. I personally had not made any art or movies for over 6 years. I was so hectic and exhausted of attempting to work in the market I wished to work in that I forgot myself.
When I could no longer specify myself as a filmmaker, I ended up being disillusioned. If I wasnt one, then what was I? People always got delighted when I stated I dealt with movies. Their eyes would illuminate, and they would plague me with concerns about the well-known people I understood or inside secrets.
They never ever needed to know just how much sleep I missed or the number of family and friends occasions I sacrificed for the bragging rights of Hollywood. They didnt need to know what thrilled me about life or who I was. They just would like to know “what I did.”
I became angrier and angrier at the film industry as a whole. I felt used. I would never ever be them unless I sold myself and played their game.
I wasnt happy to play the video game, discover the back entrances, penny pinch, or be downright cruel. I was beginning to see that the industry was soulless. The art and stories were being dictated by companies that wished to make as much as possible.
The stories were not selected for their worth and require on the planet, however by which would make the most cash. They profited on these stories and off the handwork and sacrifices of the below-the-line workers that were seen as disposable.
Stars made millions, and I made minimum wage, however I didnt have the luxury of a free jet trip back home and an apartment for my girlfriend. I was reprimanded for declining to work on a Saturday after only 5 hours off.
If this “works in the movie industry” was actually. I was working on huge movies! I had actually “made it.”
I could only go up from here. I could get to be the next Stephen Spielberg, the next Tarantino, the next Lucas? I worked for one of these types of popular guys. He was simply a human. He wasnt the god I held him approximately be. He was flawed.
Sure, he got the adrenaline rush of making art, however at my expenditure. I was lucky to have my name in the credits. I wasnt part of the golden ones, the manufacturers and stars who were the “real” film.
If I didnt wish to play the “Hollywood” game I could go independent. But I felt guilty that I called myself a filmmaker when I hadnt made a movie in years! I didnt even have any desire to even develop one.
I had buddies who were making movies on the weekends. They committed every free 2nd to it. All I did was sleep. Then drag myself for supper or a date and pretend I had a social life prior to I needed to be back at work. If left the industry I would be seen as a failure, I felt scared and guilty that.
I hesitated that I would be viewed as weak or individuals would believe that I couldnt hack it. The more angst I felt, the more I turned to my unhelpful habit of Googling recommendations. There is nothing practical about hours of reddit and self-help blog sites. They are all inconsistent.
This Googling, nevertheless, led to some articles with actual realities. This is when I began to check out Americans tendency to relate to our tasks. Our self-regard and identity are covered up in what we do.
“I study physics. We put the emphasis on the task and not the I.
I started the long, tedious tiresome procedure separating myself, the me, from the filmmaker and the woman female worked in film. I recognized that I was uneasy calling myself a filmmaker since I wasnt one.
Because I didnt really think that it was who I was, I struggled to define my title to other. I am a woman who takes pleasure in stories and movies. I am energized by stories.
Filmmaking was just a job. The extreme zealotry aspect of the film industry had actually always sat incorrect with me. Now I know why. I am not a task. I am more than the work I do.
Through this process I pertained to gradually accept that I wasnt happy with the work I was doing. There was a detach between it and the method I saw myself in life. I required to leave for a bit and enable myself to recover from the damage I and the hazardous industry had contaminated upon my soul.
It is not just the movie industry that is harmful. American work culture is. We have created an environment where work needs to be our passion. Confucius said, “Choose a job you like, and youll never have to work a day in your life.” I disagree. Work is work.
You might enjoy it, however as long as you are giving your time for cash you are taking part in an organization transaction, and it is work. Just accept it as work and accept that you can be an entire individual outside of your task. Your task is just a small sliver of the much bigger person.
Our work culture throws around the phrase “We are like a family.” It is encouraged and suggested that your staff member and colleagues are household. They arent.
You can get along with them, be good friends with them, but by labeling them as household there is a pressure to feel devoted and not let them down. Our alliances are controlled to be provided first and foremost to work. At any time invest doing something for yourself or your real household is viewed as selfish.
A year after my last movie job I still struggle to see myself outside these identities. I am now registered in grad school and I desire to identify myself as a trainee.
Sometimes I am a storyteller, however that title does not and can not encompass the entire and vastness that I am as an individual.
Identifying ourselves by our work is like attempting to fill a mug with the ocean. At some time the ocean will subdue the mug, and we will be left damp and feeling bad about ourselves.
The next time you are at a party, after the pandemic, and you satisfy someone brand-new, maybe do not ask, “What do you do?” Rather ask, “Who are you?” Produce the space to meet the genuine, whole person; the person who is large, deep, and filled with wonder for the world.

She enjoys stories and mythology and finds power in them. Dia is working at creating areas and neighborhoods for individuals to connect, heal and authentically be through storytelling.

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I worked on other filmmakers films. I was so hectic and worn out of trying to work in the market I wanted to work in that I forgot about myself.
If this “works in the movie industry” was truly. We put the focus on the job and not the I.
I started the long, tedious laborious procedure separating myself, the me, from the filmmaker and the woman female worked in filmMovie Work is work.

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