“Rock bottom ended up being the solid foundation on which I reconstruct my life.” ~ J.K. Rowling
Im no stranger to feeling hopeless and beat. After many failed relationships, physical, sexual and emotional abuse my whole life, two bankruptcies, and the recent loss of my online organization (October 2020), you might say Ive been through enough to last 2 life times.
Ill confess, there were often times I wanted everything to end. There were numerous days I just didnt know how much more I could manage. My current loss has actually ravaged me beyond words. Whatever Ive worked so hard for in the last 3 years has totally been eliminated. Im numb and feel defeated practically every day.
At fifty-eight years of ages, beginning over does not intrigue me, but I have no choice. I understand what to expect. Ive been here prior to. Its ugly, unpleasant, discouraging, demanding, and tiring. Every day I awaken I do not truly seem like getting to the computer system to work.
I dont truly feel like doing anything, to be honest, but lay in bed and cry. I go through severe waves of stress and anxiety throughout the day. I desire somebody to tell me this is all a bad dream and tomorrow things will be back to typical.
None of that occurs. And I require myself to get to work and start a brand-new day.
Your Struggles and Pain Are Real
Discomfort is pain, chaos is chaos. No matter what it appears like to you. Never ever let anybody tell you your feelings are outrageous. Do not ever think that youre overreacting. What your feeling is genuine, and you need to honor your feelings, feel all the feels. Just dont remain there. The longer you stay down, the more difficult it is to return up.
Here are 10 things to do when you are feeling beat, hopeless, powerless, and unfortunate– all things that have assisted me, that I hope assist you too.
1. Cry your eyes out.
It is definitely not, and its almost obligatory to get those tears out. Go back to the last time you had a good cry fest and attempt to remember how you felt afterward.
Sobbing is extremely restorative. Scream and cry into a pillow if you have to however get those tears out.
2. Call a friend.
While this almost sounds too easy, most do not even believe about doing this either because they dont wish to burden their buddies, or because theyre too stuck on their issues to think about speaking about something else.
Choose someone you absolutely like talking to and just chat your adorable little face off. You can discuss your problem if you believe it will assist, or you can utilize this as a chance to get your mind off of things. Just talk!! About anything, whatever, ridiculous things and absolutely nothing.
I keep in mind the day my company crashed, and I was upset and so mad but also ashamed since I didnt want anyone to understand what took place to me which my service was gone. After a week I chose to call among my dear good friends, and not only was he great at comforting me however also reassuring me that things were going to be all right. It was such a substantial relief to get this confirmation from a buddy.
Sometimes we require to hear soothing words!
I tell everyone this. Go volunteer if youre sad. Like right now. You cant even envision the power behind assisting somebody or something (aka furry animals) in requirement. Your heart fills up and then explodes, you sob delighted tears, and it truthfully simply gives you so much happiness.
Discover an organization that resonates with you and call them. Go spend an hour a week there. This will quickly become your delighted location and something you will anticipate each week.
4. Write yourself a love letter.
Ill be sincere, I havent composed one in a while, however I believe its time.
In this letter you inform yourself all the incredible and incredible things about yourself. You note all the reasons you should not feel like a loser.
You can go on and on about how incredibly remarkable you are. Draw up all the things you enjoy about yourself and all your redeeming and glowing qualities.
Now prior to you state, “Oh, I dont enjoy anything about myself,” stop right there.
Go look in the mirror right now. I wager there are a million incredible things about you. Find them and write about them.
5. Put on some loud music and sing and dance.
Oh yeah. Choose the loudest, thrashiest music you have (and love) and crank up the stereo. Or maybe you enjoy nation or jazz or whatever! Turn it up and dupe the knob. Dance, sing, jump around your house like a ridiculous fool.
Sometimes when Im feeling down, I place on the saddest music with the hardest hitting lyrics, sing loud, sob my heart out, and incredibly later I feel a million times much better!!
Let loose and lose all your cares and troubles in your preferred music. Youre gon na feel amazing, youll even get a little workout in, and your adrenaline will be pumped up a wee bit, so youll perhaps even feel unstoppable! Go you!
6. Choose a walk.
Another simple thing to do that we frequently neglect. For much of us, when were feeling actually unfortunate, we dont wish to get dressed and go out. We desire to remain inside and consume and cry scrap food (more on that later), however you cant remain there permanently.
You need to obtain out of your dark location. You need to act steps (pardon the pun) to move forward and be happy again.
Get your shoes on and get outdoors. You never understand who youre going to encounter or what kind of incredibly cool things can take place to you. Be open to surprises and possibility conferences. Or perhaps youll just discover and see little things that bring a smile to your face.
7. Eat and view amusing films unhealthy food.
Eat scrap food, aka convenience food. And yes, I get that we may have a teeny aching stomach in the morning, all depending on how much convenience food you consumed the night previously, however actually, chocolate and donuts and chips and cake really do the soul great.
We all understand eating scrap food is bad for us. Its a good fast fix on a really sad day but not something you need to do all the time.
Discover your fave movies– I normally choose for funny ones or very action thrillers– and lose yourself in it. Forget your cares and troubles even if only for 2 hours or so and let yourself indulge a little.
8. Write a fact letter.
Yes, I like composing letters. Its the very best therapy out there, I swear! Similar to a love letter to yourself, a truth letter is a letter you will write to someone or something that is causing you grief and grief.
This is where you get to draw up all your anger, all your hurt; every damn feeling you feel about this person/thing, get it all out! I know some people who have actually written reality letters that were thirty pages long. You write up until you cant compose any longer!
This is something you can do each time you have upset or despiteful ideas about this individual or thing. Ultimately the ideas wont show up so typically.
9. Set a timer.
We already understand we cant remain in this sad dark location for too long, or it will consume us. After a few weeks of feeling like this set a timer for fifteen minutes, two times a day. In this time slot, feel angry, sad, cry, shriek, or do whatever else you have to do, however when the timer is up try to compose yourself and shift your attention in other places– on your work, a hobby, assisting a buddy, anything besides your own issues.
Unfavorable ideas will occur outside of your time slot. You always have an option to let your ideas pass without getting captured up in your mental stories.
Yes, this is hard to do, but the benefit is that you are allowing yourself time to grieve without enabling your sorrow to totally consume you and dominate your days.
10. Have a me day.
Get a manicure or pedicure or do one for yourself at home. Do something you take pleasure in, something that gets you into a state of circulation.
Whatever it is that you do, do it in honor of yourself and how amazing you are. Take this time to love yourself, as difficult as that might be, and simply exist with you and only you.
As I go through my hard time, I keep telling myself that this is short-term, Im gon na be alright, and to keep the faith. I think whatever always exercises in the end, exactly the method its expected to, whether we comprehend it or not, and this brings me comfort.
However do not reject your feelings.
I believe the most important thing to keep in mind is that you should honor and feel your sensations, but you cant remain there. Its important to take actions to get back to your normal, whatever that looks like for you, or to accept that its time to produce a new regular.
Child actions are much better than no actions at all. Do one or two little things every day and before you understand it, youll be smiling and feeling much better about yourself and life again.
You got this, babe!
About Iva UrsanoIva is a retired hairdresser turned freelance writer from Northern Ontario Canada living a life of liberty, peace, and happiness in warm Guatemala. Her 2 primary objectives in life are to motivate individuals around the world with her blog sites and to feed hungry little bellies in the poor town she now calls house. She has a mini-series of self-help eBooks you can take a look at here or you can head over to her site for more inspiration and register to her weekly inspirational and inspirational newsletters.
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Every day I wake up I dont really feel like getting to the computer to work.
Youre gon na feel incredible, youll even get a little workout in, and your adrenaline will be pumped up a wee bit, so youll perhaps even feel unstoppable! For many of us, when were feeling actually unfortunate, we do not want to get dressed and go out. Get your shoes on and get outside. This is where you get to write out all your anger, all your hurt; every damn emotion you feel about this person/thing, get it all out!